I am so lonely over this.
| By User from Newport Beach, CA - Nov 7th, 2008 at 12:08 pm PST |
I went to bed last Tuesday elated, relaxed, invigorated and ready for the future. An African American had won the election and minorities would have doors thrown open, children forever imprinted with the picture of little African American girls in the White House, a job well-done and a new puppy! It was all just fantastic.
But since Wednesday morning I have become increasingly crushed. I came "out" thirty-two years ago. I have been open, spoken on behalf of all oppressed people. I was prepared for the catholics and conservatives that populate my Orange County neighborhood to vote for prop 8. I always found it knda fun - to be this big ole fat white lady who proudly said, "I have been L, G, B, and, now, settle for queer."
Dr. King told us about his dream on my 15th birthday and I gave it my best - to judge by character not skin color. But last night, on ABC news, I saw an African American women explain that homosexuality is against the bible so 80% of African Americans voted Yes on 8. I wonder what is my lesson; what should I conclude from this? I have been on the verge of tears for two days - am I just supposed to be ok with this?
As you might guess, my phone has rung and my email box is filled with my feminist friends just besides themselves with joy about President-elect Obama. I just can't get off the phone fast enough - and don't know what to say. I feel heart-broken. I have forty-five years into asking white people to not let skin color enter into their decision making about society. I have thirty-two years into not being straight. All I can really tell you is - I feel like I just broke-up. I am so lonely over this.
But since Wednesday morning I have become increasingly crushed. I came "out" thirty-two years ago. I have been open, spoken on behalf of all oppressed people. I was prepared for the catholics and conservatives that populate my Orange County neighborhood to vote for prop 8. I always found it knda fun - to be this big ole fat white lady who proudly said, "I have been L, G, B, and, now, settle for queer."
Dr. King told us about his dream on my 15th birthday and I gave it my best - to judge by character not skin color. But last night, on ABC news, I saw an African American women explain that homosexuality is against the bible so 80% of African Americans voted Yes on 8. I wonder what is my lesson; what should I conclude from this? I have been on the verge of tears for two days - am I just supposed to be ok with this?
As you might guess, my phone has rung and my email box is filled with my feminist friends just besides themselves with joy about President-elect Obama. I just can't get off the phone fast enough - and don't know what to say. I feel heart-broken. I have forty-five years into asking white people to not let skin color enter into their decision making about society. I have thirty-two years into not being straight. All I can really tell you is - I feel like I just broke-up. I am so lonely over this.
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You might choose to sit with this groundlessness, this loneliness. Let it have you. Let it take away everything it can take and then rejoice in what is left: the whole, ineffable, indestructible, powerful, silent, divine, beautiful.... you.
The ignorance of that African-America woman must be galling, but it is where our spiritual practice meets the fire. You spent decades fighting for that woman's right to vote and then say what she said. And she done said it!
But what does she know? Nothing. You (we) have the big picture perspective on this. She is ignorant and the only thing any of us can do is attempt to shine a little light for her and the others who feel this way.
Finally, you aren't really alone. Until today I didn't even realize we could sign up on this website and have our own weblogs. So, somehow I found my way here and saw your comment. I'm here and there are millions more in the California progressive movement. We are emboldened by what was accomplished on Tuesday and we are focused -- front and center -- on bringing total equality back to our state.
When you are ready, please find your way to a local activist movement, get back on your horse of pride, and start to ride again.
Warm Regards.
It is interesting that this has become THE issue for people. It is like, once we got Obama, and he won so many previously red states -- and then we made greater gains in congress -- it is as though the overturning of gay rights was the one anomaly of election day. It woke a lot of people up. Long term, perhaps it will be good for the gay rights movement and good for society as a whole.
By the way, Gloria Allred's daughter was on Anderson Cooper's show, facing off against Tony Perkins. She was amazing. Check it out if you can find a link online.
Peace.
But just think about that. If you count those teens who couldn't vote this year who would have voted No on 8, there are probably over 5 million people in this state alone who believe in and support marriage equity. That's a lot of people who are saying that its OK to be gay, that they respect same sex rights.
You've been out for more than three decades. Think back to 1978. Did you ever think that 5 million people—most of them straight—would be on your side?
And I think its important not to racialize those who supported Prop 8. The common denominator among the opponents to marriage equity is not the color of their skin, but the kind of church they go to and a religious instruction that doesn't provide them with thoughtful, Christian alternatives to the pick-and-choose Biblical doctrines they are taught.
The challenge now for us—gay and straight—is to show these folks how they can be both good Christians and supporters of marriage equity. I offer some ideas over here— Link —but don't doubt for a moment that we will get there.