I really don't know what to think ~ do you? I really don't know what to do ~ do you? Shall I watch Philadelphia again or go see Milk again? I lived through the Life and Times of Harvey Milk. When can we just breathe and call this place home?

I started this campaign season just being anti-Bush. I made a button that said, "Vote Democratic." John Edwards seemed to really care about the poor, so do I. Hillary Clinton's Beijing 1997 speech was all I could hope from any woman who made it that far up the political ladder. Biden, Kucinich, Richardson, Dodd ~ okay, okay. Obama was interesting but too young, too unknown, no record in Illinois on my issues. So I got on the Hillary train and was increasingly thrilled, day after day, imagining what it would mean to my life and the lives of every woman in the world for her to be POTUS.

Obama won the nomination and, while the press pressed Hillary to concede, while past conquered nominees took weeks to step aside, it appeared that three days was too long for Hillary to concede in the minds of the media. From my hindsight, I wish she had taken longer. Three days was not enough to wash away the hopes and dreams of a Hillary Clinton Presidency. I felt robbed. Love being what it is, she asked and I supported Obama. My younger friends were buoyant. My centrist friends were smug. My tried and true feminist friends were abandoned.

So what could we do? Lets wait and see. Oh yes, wait and see, though during the campaign he was cautious and measured; he will be progressive, pro-minority, pro-diversity, pro-woman, pro-social justice and it will all take shape once elected. Let me be really clear here: this was his electorate telling me this. These are the people with Obama stickers on the car, buttons on lapels and poised for an historical celebration. These are the prophets of change and predictors of massive global consciousness.

What has happened so far? Not much. "He is not in office yet." (I can hear you) But actually, he has made dozens of decisions. The cabinet is five women out of fifteen seats. (fewer than Bill Clinton did 16 years ago) He appointed Larry Summers to his economic advisory board. This is the man who was fired from Harvard for saying that women may not have an aptitude for math and science. Please note that you can find language about advancing women in math and science on both the Obama website (under women issues) and the Democratic Party Platform.

Take a look at the "shovel-ready' work and weigh it with three factors; 1) women are paid 77 cents on the dollar, when they have work, 2) most of these jobs are traditionally male and by a very large percentage are held by men and 3) many of the middle and lower class homes are headed by women. Creating all of these jobs is great but, to be of use to the whole country, they must include a preponderance of work for women, the passage of the fair-pay act and balanced benefits for families such as paid sick leave, affordable health insurance, maternity leave, day care and family justice.

The media may be having a hay day with the ridiculous circus surrounding Governor Blagojevich as it unfolds day to day but this is not the meat of the matter. Widen the lens and note that this continuous cavalcade of unscrupulous idiots, who have been at the helm of Illinois for decades (Ryan, now in prison, was Speaker of the House in 1982) have held up a federal amendment which would include women in the US Constitution. Silly hair-dos, foul language, a wife who is in on the street talk - that is not the story. Appointing Burris to be the Junior Senator for Illinois is not the story. The overwhelming damage to the advancement of humanity, the parade of leaders who care nothing for social justice, the suffering of the citizens of Illinois and the US is the story. JESUS CHRIST ~ SOMEBODY TELL THE STORY AND IMPEACH THIS GOVERNOR AND END HIS LINNEAGE.

So I entered the contest to be one of the ten people to attend the inauguration as Obama's guest. Now that simultaneously seemed ironic and proper. Here is what I said,

"I am 60, I am a Democrat and I voted for you. I hope you choose me to attend the inauguration and celebrate your presidency. If you do not choose me, I will be at the Saddleback Church with a sign protesting the appointment of Pastor Rick Warren to lead our country in prayer and to mark the beginning of your eight years in office. He says that I am liken to a nazi and my womb is the comparable to Auschwitz, as I had an abortion many years ago. He says that since I am bi-sexual, I am equivalent to a pedophile. I suggest you ask Pastor Warren to hold a Parliament of Religion like the one held in Chicago 1923. It is time for all of the religions of the earth to have a meeting."

So either way - you know where to find me on the 20th.