How many of us have been asked the questions, “Mommy, which of us is your favorite? Who do you love more?” As parents, we know there is only one answer to questions like these…"We love you all, equally."

The truth is we may love each child equally, but they are not all the same. And, at times, we may like one child’s behavior more than the other’s…the good student, the good athlete, the good manners…sometimes we can’t help ourselves, they are a reflection of the best in us, or so we hope. Other times, they are insecure, selfish, withdrawn…and they seemingly reflect the worst in us, or so we fear. Our constant challenge is to recognize the good and the bad in our kids and parent accordingly. If we expect our kids to be exactly the same, we’re just setting ourselves up for disappointment. If we expect our kids to be “perfect” in our eyes, we’re setting them up for a lifetime of therapy. We must accept that they are going to be different and love them unconditionally...and equally.

Although we’ll certainly have different opinions about the paths our kids travel in pursuit of their own life, liberty and definition of happiness, our responsibility as parents is to help shine a light for them…to help them find their own path and send them post cards of encouragement on their way. The American ideal of “liberty and justice for all” applies to all our kids, not just our favorites.

In California, we had a ballot initiative that allowed the public to vote on the civil liberties of a minority group. The majority voted for Prop 8, which banned gay marriage and restricted gay rights, thereby requiring the state to amend its constitution to prevent that minority group the same liberties as the majority under law. In essence, Californians said “why can’t you be more like your brother?” Oops, we picked favorites.

Today, Maine residents are voting on same sex marriage equality. Opponents used the same ads and the same tactics as in California. This is bigger than the politics of Maine. We all need to be paying attention--gay or straight. This is a civil liberties issue. Whether or not you personally agree with the gay rights movement is really not the point...rather, do you believe you are entitled to certain rights that others should be denied? Do you support freedom of speech even if you disagree with what someone else is saying? Do you support freedom of religion even if you don't agree with the way someone else worships? Do you support someone's right to bear arms even if you don't like guns? Do you believe your child's gender, race or sexual orientation should preclude them from the same privileges under the law as someone else's child?

Our nation has been here before…with civil rights, the women’s movement and now gay rights. So who better than America’s moms to let our kids know that black or white, girl or boy, gay or straight we are there, supporting them and loving them...no matter what anyone else says or does. We might not like our kids' behavior all the time, but it is our responsibility to love them all, equally.

“Listen to your mother!” We've all heard it a million times....it's an effective reminder that makes kids sit up a little straighter and pay attention. Yep, it's true, kids need constant reminders on how to behave, but unfortunately, it's the grown ups in this country that need to be reminded these days. You know, ”mind your manners,” “clean up your own mess,” “don’t be a poor sport” and on and on. So, who better to do it than America’s moms?

We are the example our children see and hear every day, so America’s moms know that our “actions speak louder than words.” But, it is time that we hold other grown-ups accountable for their behavior, too. Our kids are watching and listening, so “do as I say, not as I do" doesn't cut it anymore. If congressmen can't "mind their manners" while the President is speaking, how do we expect a ten year old to be respectful when his teacher is talking? If professional athletes can’t “be a good sport” when they lose, how do we encourage a disappointed t-ball player to be one? If rock stars don't grasp that there are times when "the world doesn't actually revolve around them," how do we convince our teenagers of it? If we expect better kids, we all must be better examples.

America’s kids are our future. Our President reminds us that they are the next generation of “risk-takers, doers and makers of things.” They are the next bankers and baseball players, teachers and technicians, police officers and policy makers, artists and astronauts, scientists and social workers…and they will be the role models for the generation after them…the next Presidents, Wall Street whiz kids, Nobel Peace Prize winners, curers of cancer, soldiers, parents…our kids are going to define the future of our nation…and we have the incredible job of shaping what kind of people, and citizens, they grow up to be.

President Obama challenged us to usher in “a new era of [parental] responsibility.” At first, we thought it was about turning off the TV and making sure the kids were doing their homework. And, frankly, Deb and I thought we were doing a pretty good job, but then we realized we were missing the big picture. We aren’t just raising kids, we are raising the citizens who determine the future of our country. The country we all love. We can all rally around our kids and our country, right? We can find common ground on the issues that matter most to raising happy, healthy, well-adjusted citizens, can't we? Sure, we need to know how and why we see things differently, but that’s not where the conversation should begin and end. It needs to start at the kitchen table with some common sense and come full circle in parenting our kids through the social and political issues of the day…while using “indoor voices” and “nice manners,” of course!

President Obama has the economy, health care, two wars, the environment, education and a few other things on his “to do” list right now…while America’s moms are the family banker, nurse, diplomat, general, gardener, teacher, etc. So, we get it. We are also responsible for making sure our kids are doing their chores, brushing their teeth, not fighting with their siblings, picking up after themselves and doing their homework, all while teaching them patience, manners, accountability, self-reliance, discipline, persistence, resilience, empathy, kindness...and the commitment and hard-work required to follow through on their dreams for tomorrow. Kind of like dealing with Congress!? President Obama and America's moms have parallel roles right now. President Obama is the leader of our country and moms are the leaders of our families. President Obama’s slogan is “change we can believe in,” so our slogan is “change begins at home.” He has an important job to do...but, our job is the most important. We are the "opinionated moms" who influence our kids, families, communities and, ultimately, the direction of our country. We are O-MAMA. Our kids and our country need us, so we need to work together to find common ground and really make a difference on the issues that matter most!

If we keep in mind the simple lessons we’ve all been taught by our own mothers, then maybe the complex social issues that our country is facing will become a little less complicated. Maybe, if we stop second guessing every intention and start really believing the things we already know to be true--like "don't judge a book by it's cover," "practice what you preach," "live and let live", "leave it better than you found it," etc.--then, we can finally start tackling some of the issues we can no longer avoid and teach our kids the life lessons we can no longer ignore. Maybe, just maybe, these issues are not as difficult as we think they are?

With a little humor and a lot of common sense, America’s moms can be a constructive voice in our country’s most important conversations. Can we do it? You betcha!