I'm in California, so I'll admit I didn't see all of the ads from both sides in Maine. But I did see a sample that I bet is representative. The pro-equality ad was sweet and soft and showed a nice gay couple and some kids. The other side's ad was mean and harsh and essentially said that if same-sex couples were allowed to marry, we would immediately set about the task of turning all their kids gay.

For Prop. 8 here in California, the first and most widely-shown equality ad showed a heterosexual bride running through a parking lot and some bushes and breaking a heel before arriving at her wedding. I like to think I'm pretty tuned in to the issue, and even I didn't understand the point of that one. Did we really think Joe Straight Voter was going to get the obscure metaphor and vote accordingly? The ads from the other side--not surprisingly--claimed that if marriage rights for same-sex couples were allowed to continue, we would immediately set about the task of turning all their kids gay.

We keep losing because we keep playing softball while they're playing hardball. Sure, their claim is a lie, but it's a damn compelling one: even gay parents would prefer--given a choice--that their kids not turn out gay. So we have to get out in front of them instead of playing catch-up. We have to tell the voters: here is what they're going to tell you, and it's a damn lie! Marriage rights are just about marriage rights, not about what your kids are taught in school.

We have our own ammunition, and it's not sweet gay families bathed in sepia sunlight. THEY have a hidden agenda that we need to expose. They want control. Once they get this taste of power, will they be satisfied with denying same-sex marriage rights? Hardly. Next to go will be domestic partnerships. But the other side is not just anti-gay. They're also anti-abortion, anti-anysexualpracticeotherthanmissionarypositionforprocreation, anti-anythingotherthanChristian, anti-progressive, and yes, you know it's true, many of them are also racist and sexist. So they may be coming for us first, but we need to let Joe Straight Voter know that he too is likely in their long-range crosshairs. Then maybe he'll vote our way.